Whatever could go wrong, would go wrong with me. Even if only in my head.
I was late to school more than I was on time. My first period of the day was Algebra. My Algebra Teacher, bless his amazing soul, lived around the corner from me. I would arrive to his class late, sink into a chair in the back with tear stained cheeks, red puffy eyes, and a mess of an outfit and hair do. He would nod as if to tell me I'm noticed and then he would continue his lesson. At the end of the day, my Algebra Teacher would give me a ride home but not before tutoring me on the lesson missed that morning. I aced Algebra.
I remember the very first time I heard my Theme Song on the radio. I was on my way home from school in my Algebra Teachers 1960 something green pick up truck with the foot shaped gas pedal. We were having a nice talk as usual about anything and everything. He would never comment on the mornings except to say that he missed me in class that morning. Somehow the unspoken was worth a thousand words. It was nice to know that someone noticed. I was of the thinking that no one would even miss me if I was gone.
Then this song came on. A song from an all girl band that struck a nerve with me. It was written for me and being sung to me.
"Things'll go your way,
if you hold on for one more day.
Can you hold on for one more day?
Things'll go your way.
hold on for one more day."
I went home and turned on my radio begging for the DJs to play it again. I'm sure I went out the next day and bought the Cassette Single. I played that thing until it broke. I sang it at the top of my lungs repeatedly every day. That song became my mantra, my saving grace. Can I, would I, could I just Hold On for one more day?
I did. I did Hold On for one more day and then another.
And I made it,
until June 12th, 1993...