Monday, May 16, 2011

Sulking Sunday

Since I awoke Sunday I have been sulking. I've been crying & sobbing. I've gone through being mad, upset, angry, sad, bitter, pissy, irritable, helpless, lonely, depressed, astounded, just to name a few. Here's why:

When I wake up most mornings I catch up on what I missed in my social world overnight if I have time before showering and beginning the day. I've learned now (I actually knew before but now it has smacked me in the face) that I should wait until later after I have awakened my kiddos and gotten my hugs. Hugs would start my day off so much better. Noted. 

I opened my email and was SHOCKED wide awake when I opened a short email from my Aunt Patty. I began to cry immediately.

Saturday evening my older cousin Matthew (we're 6 days apart) and our Uncle Mike (said Aunt's Hubs) flew to Florida on their planned trip to retrieve Gram's Boyfriend's car. Each Spring someone in the Family flies down, drives the car home to Cape Cod and she and her Boyfriend fly home with her kitties. In the Fall the trip is reversed.

I talked to Gram on Mother's Day Weekend and her only complaints were that of her injuries from her Palm Sunday "death", CPR, and original Spider bite that led to the incident. She also said she can't wait to get back to the Cape and is looking forward to us visiting in July. There was nothing said to prepare me for this email.

The email I received was a picture of Gram from Uncle Mike's phone at the airport pick up Saturday and a short message that read: "Please tell me this isn't all old age!!!! Mike says her foot is pretty bad too. I believe she's having an MRI done tomorrow. Poor Gram!!!!!"

Apparently, I've since learned, she fell again sometime last week. She says she fell sleep walking. I have not heard first hand her story. I have heard from Matt and he says she is fine. It seems, through messages received, that Mike and Matt have different opinions of the situation. Either that or Matt is sugar coating to me for my sanity. I have yet to figure out which. 

I've been told "they" think her arm may be broken. She is having an MRI today. I don't know who "they" are or if "they" should have already done something. Being so far away leaves me feeling absolutely helpless. 

My kiddos were great yesterday morning. They sang made up songs to me in Bubba's room when I sat down with tears that hit me again out of no where. Madi sang "Don't Cry Mommy" to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle, or was it Happy Birthday?  They tried their best with their hugs and smiles and eventually just went off playing while I gathered myself, my tears, and the blankie I had been given by Bubba. We lazed around the house all day because Mommy used all of her energy to be sad.

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