Thursday, June 2, 2011

S’mores will be Served at My Funeral

And Friendly’s Hot Fudge Sundaes.
There will be an entrance fee of 2 canned goods per person.
Or a roll of dimes for the March of Dimes.
Unless you didn’t like me and then the fee is doubled.
Everyone will be singing Madonna, MJ and NKOTB.
Until Absolution rocks out a concert.
There will be no crying. Or pouting. Or sulking.
And absolutely no whining.
No one is to be shushed.
I want Purple Roses and Purple Orchids and Purple Tulips.
Light Purple though, not dark.
You can toast me with Sweet Tea and Diet Pepsi.
And chocolate peanut butter milkshakes from Peppers.
I want a moon bounce and pony rides for the kids.
And, of course, the adults.
A pick up basketball game would be nice, too.
You will not spend a lot on my casket or service.
Spend that on planting flowers and trees in your yard.
Pictures of me pregnant are my favorite, so use them.
And my wedding day. Those are beautiful.
Everyone will hug everyone else.
Hard feelings will be thrown out the window.
Wait for a rainy day so you can splash in puddles in my honor.
Have lots of purple towels on hand for drying off.
Don’t ask my family members for speeches about me.
Instead tell them what they mean to you.
Tell me “see you soon” instead of “goodbye.”
Know that I will wait for you for more hugs.

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