Sunday, April 15, 2012

Let’s Just Suppose

You’re on your dinner break from work. It’s your one evening shift of the week so that puts dinner right about 8pm on a Saturday. Your kiddos are at Grandma’s so your Hubs picks you up for dinner break, just the two of you.

He decides on Applebees since that’s right around the corner and shouldn’t have much of a wait. He gets you seated at the table and then goes to wash his hands.

The waiter greets you and asks if you want to wait or order a drink. You order two sodas. The waiter agrees and adds rather abruptly and not in a joking manner, “I have to offer you the Corona or I’ll have to buy you mozzarella sticks and I’m broke and can’t afford that.”

He comes back after a few too many minutes and sets the sodas down, asks if you need a couple of minutes. Your Hubs is back by this time and he agrees you two need another minute.

He, once again, comes back after a few too many minutes; but this time with a dirty plate from another table in his hand. He asks if you’re ready to order. You are so he asks, as he sets it down, if it’s ok if he sets the dirty plate down on your table. Your Hubs shoots you a dirty look.

He writes your order down on his pad, collects your menus, and then walks away from your table without the dirty plate to put the menus away. He returns and gets the dirty, nasty plate from someone else’s table that he set down on yours.

You wait for what seems like an excessive amount of time to have your burgers brought out. He brings them to you and says “I don’t know whose is whose.” He sets them down and starts to walk away. Your Hubs gets his attention and says his burger is not what he ordered. He looks dumbfounded and asks why. Your Hubs tells him it’s not the right burger and the waiter asks if he can bring him what is missing from the burger.

Your Hubs has to insist that he take the burger back to the kitchen and retrieve the correct one. He reaches only half way for the plate and stays arm stretched out not grabbing the plate. Your Hubs has to hand him the plate as if he suddenly cannot reach as far as he did when he initially set the plate down.

As he walks away with your Hubs’ burger you realize, yours, too, is not what you ordered. The burger you ordered was to include crispy onion straws & sweet bbq sauce yet this burger in front of you has sautéed onions atop it.

When the waiter returns with your Hubs’ burger he mumbles something about blaming it on the expo person in the kitchen. You tell the waiter your burger is also not as ordered and he says he doesn’t know the burgers. You explain the onion thing and he says he’ll have “them” make you some onion straws. You agree and sit waiting for far too many minutes and scrape off the sautéed onions while you wait.

Finally giving up and eating the burger not as ordered, you reach the last two bites of your meal only to have the same kind of sautéed onions brought out to you with two refills on sodas with little to no ice in either one. The waiter says “the kitchen says this is what we have.”

Now, let’s just suppose this was your dinner tonight. Did you enjoy it?

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