May 7th- Early On

 

I was to be working remotely Friday from my Mom's. 

I had been there on Saturday morning to pick up a load of clothes she insisted be donated. 

I had been there Tuesday afternoon to thumb through some pictures and some paperwork she wanted to look through. 

Tuesday was hard. We encountered so many pictures that made us teary eyed, a few that made us giggle, and some paperwork that sparked some conversation. Not quite enough though. 

Mom cried telling me she just wanted more TIME. She didn't go in to detail, she didn't stay on that subject. Just that she wanted more timmmme. She emphasized the word. 

About an hour and a half into my visit she excused herself for the restroom. I helped her to her standing position and she used her walker from there. Several minutes later she called for me from the back and said she was just so tired. So very tired. As I helped her into bed she gave me instructions on finding some more pictures she thought I may want. She joked of the framed wedding photo she still had and said "you gave me such a big big picture." We chuckled over that. 

I continued looking through photo boxes and searched for the frame, to no avail. When Dan returned home from errands he joined me at the table and I showed him a few pictures I had set aside. He suddenly remembered he had been looking for something specific recently and asked me, "have you found a more recent photo of your Mom by herself?"

I choked back tears until I could reply, "I don't even want to know why you need one."

We both knew why. Neither of us could say the words. So we silently cried instead. 

I was to be working remotely Friday from my Mom's. I had told her I could come back down to go through some pictures again. She was scheduled for infusion in the morning and I would come join her at home late morning. 

Her appointment ran late. They had kept her waiting. When she returned home exhausted Dan was, at first, unable to get her inside from the garage. She couldn't walk, she couldn't stand, she was so weak. He said he may need my help getting her in to bed but he would try one more time. 

He later texted to tell me it wasn't a good day for the pictures. My original plan of going down had changed. 

I was due to visit the beach the next day for an overnight stay with the kids. The next text was  Dan saying "you may want to stop by on the way {to the beach} to see your Mom." 

The text read differently. JP & I left Smyrna immediately.